Movie Review: An Evergreen Christmas – 10 Points

Putting her seemingly glamorous Hollywood life on hold, Evie has to return to her small home town of Balsam Falls, where her family’s once thriving Christmas tree farm is located, to attend her father’s unexpected funeral. As the eldest sibling, she finds herself the executor of an estate that owes a large amount of inheritance tax.

This is not starting with the happiness I’ve come to except from Christmas movies
I mean, I know it starts with a death but jeeez
Oh no, is this the dad? He seems lovely, touching all his trees
Is the daughter doing the sad violin music?! This is extra sad
This is some Save the Last Dance shit right here
Bloody hell
Oh my god, what is her role here?
‘Eviecakes’ XD
How old is she? Her face is odd
Ruh roh
So Babette is her boss and she’s a cow
Oh my god, this is so awful
Wait, is that guy her boyfriend or just bestie
Oh, boyfriend
When he was in the cafe I thought he was super camp
Help an old man out with the luggage, jeez
You deserve to be in the back for letting a man do all the luggage
Oh that was her music? It was so sweet
Ah, so she went to LA to become a musician but became some sort of dogsbody there
That’s not how they do things here
So she’s got all the clothes and baggage etc. to imply she’s a minted young woman, but her job probably doesn’t pay that well
Is that her gran?! I need her face cream…
Cute PJs
Talented baby brother too
Screw LA and make a rustic Tennessee band with your brother
Babette is scum
God this is so sad
I’m putting money on that being an ex-boyfriend
What the fuck is Shane doing in the background
Why does he have hot hands on? (That’s oven gloves to everyone not a Salixa)
Oh boy Shane has to go
Miss Honey? Is that her gran
Adam I can’t work out if you’re adorbs or a dweeb
She’s such a bitch though
Does her boyfriend not even know how talented she is!? Oh shit
Oh, Shae… oh boy
He’s such a twat
Oh boy, your posturing won’t work here Shae
He can be super talented but love home
What the fuck is this dude about
Dump him *please* Evie
So that is Miss Honey, but is she a grandmother
Shut up Shae, I hate you
Oh Little Owen you were a cutie XD
This is so sad oh my god, but wonderfully sincere I suppose
Angel and Annabelle eh? Eh? Eh?
Angel you’re adorable with this story
This guy is a twonk
Oh jesus
Oh Angel, oh my sweet boy, what the fuck is this movie
I mean it’s pretty standard…
Adam butt out
I mean, it’s not her fault – kind of a dick move by her dad
What a dick!
“Michael bubble” XD What’s wrong with Shae, seriously
Wow “different”, harsh
My dad died, wow Becky what the fuck is wrong with you
She’s an evil woman
Those trousers are not Tennessee appropriate XD
Adam just does a bit of everything
Wow, god, can I punch Shae yet
On top of everything he’s controlling her diet?
Why does she have so many different kinds of pyjamas just for one visit
Announce your presence gently but firmly when people have machinery girl
Miss Honey is such a matchmaker
Oh Angel, you’re a cutie
Oh I see, they’re travelling workers
“That sounds incredible” is not the same as “you can do that”
I hope you fall out of that tree Shae
Hah! He did!
Is that a compliment
Oh shit girl
Sure those are definitely not fingerprint bruises…
Wow Shae, you suck
Adam you’re nicer than he deserves
God I hate him so much
Evie you’re dressed like an asparagus – you’re so very LA
Thomas seems to be edgy for the purpose of being edgy
He pronounces the ‘l’ in folk, it’s weird
OH Fuck Thomas
That was a bit harsh
Oh wow Shae you’re such a weirdo
Yes Adam, beat him
I like everyone calls him Pops
Ugggggh Shae you’re the worst
What are they going to play!?
Ping pong XD Excellent
Wow, men in movies are pathetic
OH dude Shae
Another pair of pyjamas
Yes chase him down!
“Dwarf horse”!?!?!
He has a real name – he *chose* Shae!?
Oh fuck off Becky
Don’t do it
Don’t do it Evie, come the fuck on
I thought that luggage was all hers but it was half his I guess
Why does he have his own headset
Wahey Adam!
Oh wow, presumptuous much
Oh baby girl, I’m sorry
Oh my sweet jesus, what is this
You shouldn’t leave him unattended, it’s unfair on the locals
What polite young men they have here
Oh god Shae, what is wrong with you?
I mean, you fucked off with someone else
He does have a right to be mad
Good riddance
Hahaha yes, chuck his stuff Pops
I like this cardigan/dressing-gown thing she got
Oh man, oh my god
What on earth!? Nacho, jerky, mahogany, what kind of body wash flavours are these!?
“It’s you” I love it Adam
Typical Becky, spread the bullshit round you bitch
Those trees look legit fake, just saying
Give her a kiss Angel!
Before you get shot by her dad
How decidedly CGI
Oh no, murder moths?
Tree murder moths obvs
Come on Adam, don’t just do a snoop
This is the stuff misunderstandings are made of
You dumb twat
Don’t say it out loud
Oh fuck Angel
Oh double fuck
I was joking about Angel getting shot
Yeah Pops, go on, get him
Oh yeah Miss Honey
Why the fuck would she?
I guess Evie knows what Gypsy Moths means…
Is this her rage playing?
I love Pops
We gotta clear out them gypsy moths
Wow her mum looks like her
Good casting, well done that team
Wow, that’s really sociopathic
I love you Miss Honey
I love the use of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy here for Miss Honey being devious XD
Nicked her man’s boots XD
I mean, what about all the other fields?
Go team! Come on, I hope you’ve done it
At least it’s just the one field
You better not also spread some shit around inspector
Off you pop Adam, save the day
Yeah boy!
So many lights, it’s so pretty <3
Oh shit, he sold his gun :O
Nice one Pops
It’s gonna be Adam with a team of scrapers
Or is it the donkey!?
Has it just been a wild fucking donkey this whole time?
Oh shit Joe
OK, not scrapers, but buyers
Oh damn
Adam you’re a doll
Awwwwww, of course they would Annabelle
That snow looks so fake, just sayin
What is this shepherd-DJ doing XD
He needs to be with Shae in the city
So do they come back to the christmas tree farm every year? Is that how they know Evie?
Yes! Family band! Please do it
That’s so obvious pre-recorded, come on
It’s so pretty Angel, you’re so clever boy
Come on, I need it, Lee Family Band
Kissing looks weird, I’m just gonna say it
Oh damn, Evie’s famous
Hahahaha love it

OK, so that was really sweet. Kind of gut-wrenching to start with I won’t lie. The romance with Adam was a little stuck on but I guess they had to come up with a reason for him to stand by Evie. Shae was the absolute worst. Overall a wholesome story but definitely not an upbeat one by any means. This is one for a soppy evening with blankets, biscuits, and warm drinks.