October Kiss – 12 points

October Kiss is a movie about a girl who can’t do very much because she’s so flaky deciding to nanny for a dude. Hallowe’en and feelings ensue:

Our girl has commitment issues, to the yoga class she runs, a pizza job and to maybe wearing her boyfriend’s mother’s wedding dress – OK we’ll give her that one

Sassy best friend/sister “you don’t give anything a chance” oh and “mum also has commitment issues”

“But I’ve got to be passionate about what I do”

How is this woman in her… 30s?! And never had a proper job

I can play along with my friend’s kids – I should be a nanny!

Our man goes jargon-ing on down the telephone. Doesn’t see our “free-spirited” (not commitment phone, my bad) girl at the window. Hilarity and embarrasment ensue in 5…

4

Not too bad actually.

Six minutes in we have a DEAD WIFE PEOPLE. Dead wife! That’s why he hates the holidays.

Precocious smarmy snarky older daughter and cute silent son. Ding ding.

Snoop Mode engaged.

Pretty sure this is the same office as How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

Our guy puts on a cute smile at having 450 messages unread. He is not a real business man.

Zoe is suspicious and grills our girl shows off her resentful side. Zach is scared of spiders – our girl to the rescue! Except not really.

Aha, Zoe thinks nannies “come in and try to take over” AND “it’s your fault the goat ate my sweater”

Our guy comes home to trashed house but our girl is cleaning up, she tells him about the day and he thinks she’s gonna quit. Oh she is.

Oooh he said “they’re a big commitment, even when they’re not yours” – “oh wait, I’m a commitment phobe, better not be that anymore. I’ll stay”. Then she walks out of his extremely messy house.

Turns out the sister is trying to hook the two of them up.

Zoe’s a bitch to her brother then butthurt when their dad tells her to go bed. She’s gonna take a lot to win over.

Seems our guy cleaned the whole house before bed.

Oooh we have the sass-flirt flying. We’re learning about his app – Food with Friends.

The joy of halloween brings out the sob story from Zoe and also warms the mood.

Business flirt with colleague, she’s making him do the pitch, now cooing over his kids and I guess the conversation is over?

Our girl has clearly spent $1000 on hallowe’en decs. Kind of amazing seeing as she never has jobs?

She doesn’t want Zach to sleep “with a light on” but he already has one on so… I don’t get it

Our man didn’t even notice the entire lawn decorated with stuff that they spent the whole afternoon doing. Daughter is bummed.

Which is not the twist I expected – I thought he’d freak out like “how dare you do something like my dead wife”

30 mins in btw peeps

He actually seems pretty pleased they did it.

Bit more flirting, seems like Abigail *is* a date. Zoe overheard and is bummed, now asking about love.

Zoe has been won over far simpler than I thought.

Abigail is totally into our guy, turned down a job in Tokyo because she’s hoping to get an offer from our guy. He doesn’t even realise she was flirting.

Our guy has been asked to go to a school thing he says he will try- expecting him to fail.

Back story from our girl. Stoic dad always turned up to stuff. He says “I will be there”. Still expecting it to fail.

He touched her hair, now it’s weird. Maybe they think they like each other. 37 minutes in.

Zach Is getting bummed our guy hasn’t turned up. He is caught up at work, not at the thing.

Our girl’s sister is pleased that our girl might like like him.

He flaked out. They are sad. Even 8 hours later. “He only cares about work, he loves work more than us.”

Uh oh, our girl has an idea.

He is having an “evaluation meeting” with his kids, about his fatherdom. It’s kind of harsh. But he’s taking it well and now he’s crying. It’s cute tbh.

Some how he suddenly can go out and pick pumpkins?

Also they’re like “oh, we googled each other” and she says “well you have to, you’re a techie, you google everyone.” And he says “not everyone” as if it’s quirky and romantic when a) it’s not and b) if someone is coming into your home to look after your kids you better bloody google them.

Fake pumpkin is fake.

Oh and we’ll have a pumpkin carving session. Because all of a sudden he has time.

Oh but now he has another date with a woman he didn’t even know wanted to date him five minutes ago.

“You should marry our dad!” 48 minutes in.

We’ve got flirting but he’s a little unsure. Oh man, she compared a new girlfriend/wife to a company takeover. She is not the girl for our family.

Most failure of a tucking in in all movies ever.

“Date was OK I guess” he should realise that she’s way more into it than he is and bail.

Awkward moment of not acknowledging that they like each other.

Our guy is decorating the inside of the house.

They are joking about having been married. He turns up the radio, and are dancing. And then it’s weird again because they totally like each other. They nearly kiss. Just do it already omfg.

Abigail is suggesting she and our guy should just “go to Tokyo”. Because he can do that obvs.

Another near kiss at 58 minutes. Our girl backs out.

Abigail rocks up unexpected.  The kids are not impressed. She brought over business. Why would you even when he said “I promised my kids I’d be home before dark.”

I swear Abigail’s hair just changed colour.

Zoe and Zach’s costumes are the total best.

Abigail is a total intruder.

Zoe is kissing our girl’s ass in front of Abigail. Abigail tries to join in. Flunked.

And Abigail has signed them up for dinner after big presentation on Hallowe’en. Why would she do that at dinner.

Japanese is easier to speak than talking to kids. According to Abigail.

Somehow he has “averted the crisis” of the being a useless father.

First kiss at 1:05! Between our guy and Abigail. Our girl sees, feels awkward. Our guy is so not into it.

Prediction: our guy will bring foreign Japanese investor out trick or treating.

They’re talking about “us”. She interrupts when he’s clearly about to profess undying love or similar. She’s like “nah, I’m getting attached and that’s bad because now you have Abigail and I’m in the way.”

So they “break up” instead. That was painful.

Our girl is totes bummed. She says “he asked me to stay on as his nanny” NO HE DIDN’T!!

Zoe tells her dad that Poppy loves him. He doesn’t believe them.

Funny old lady from the beginning is insightful. Tells her to sort shit out and fast. Smart lady.

Kids are being bitchy. Dad says “no! It’ll be better! I miss Poppy (our girl) too.” Abigail over hears and walks away.

Our guy’s PA is taking the kids trick or treating.

Abigail judges our guy for looking at his phone to see a picture of his kid – not thinking that he spends all his time with his kids looking at his phone because of her – “it’s just one hallowe’en.”

Phew, Abigail is moving to Tokyo! She’s telling him to be with Poppy. She’s stepping aside. Good girl.

Guh, our girl is gushing about our guy to some random kids. Realised she’s in love with him.

Our guy is flunking his pitch. Tells everyone he shouldn’t be here so he’s going to spend time with his family. Makes all the investors smile.

Our guy makes it home! He plans for them to start at our girl’s house but she beats him to it.

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE LOOKING KISS EVER

This is higher points than Pumpkin Pie Wars but definitely pick Pumpkin Pie Wars. This was more meh than Harvest Moon in that it had less conflict. Everyone was a bit nice. Also, how can you call it October Kiss when it is the worst kiss ever. Also, it sounds like a super special thing “ooooh the ~october kiss~”.

Love,

Salixa.

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