Movie Review: The Christmas Trap

Kara and Jessie are two teenage girls from very different worlds, but with a little Christmas magic, they find they have much more in common than they imagined.

This dad does not look like he’s old enough to be her dad

Is she a teen or what?

Wow, dead parents within a minute

OK, this girl is clearly a teen

What is with mystery grandparents – I mean, I know it’s the hook, but still

Do military personnel really get to board a plane first?

Aww, what a sweetie

Aha, she got bumped up to first class, and that’s how they meet

Who leaves their coat on in a plane

She’s too fancy to say “dude”

How weird that they are twinsies

I hope they stay friends after this

I guess it’s handy they have all the same interests, makes it easier to swap

Oh shit, they both have dead mothers what is this

This is also the weirdest idea

Wow rich girl’s family is legit rich

Not rich girl’s family is definitely not rich

I love Judy already

“Look just like your daddy” lol

She was literally just called Jessie by that lady a minute ago, dumbass

“I don’t know when I last saw you cry” – well she’s gonna be a miserable bag

Gosh, this is such a terrible idea

Grandfather Bob lol

“Being a yankee” good lord

What, her dad!? That’s so weird

That’s a terrible idea oh my god

 That’s kind of cute about her dad but like, where has he been this whole time

And why did the grandparents only just decide to get in touch

AND HOW IS SHE SUCH A GOOD DRIVER WITH NO LESSONS WHAT THE FUCK!?

That horse is so big o_O

He’s giving her a damn horse what

“Just like your daddy” lulz again

Every time someone shows some affection I’m reminded how BAD OF AN IDEA THIS IS

Lol at the maid’s response to the make up

Horses be damned, Jessie’s family seems the best

Those are pretty cute kids

I take it back, Junior’s a shit

Gosh, a military mum, that’s different

“Barrel racer eh?” I wonder if their parents knew each other

He didn’t put the bacon with the beans

What on earth is this, why do they have an 18 seat dining table!

Haha, beauty queens and rodeo queens

How can you be a matriarch of a family that doesn’t fucking exist, and not call your granddaughter or bloody son in like 20 years

YES THAT’S WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW

So…something happened and now they want to make it up

I bet her dad married down in status

This maid is a hero

Cara is so dumb omg

“Smelly boys and sloppy men” awww, granma <3

Oh man, Cara’s grandmother is awful

Oh boy, are they gonna end up competing in a beauty pageant!?!?

This is not how I thought this would go

That’s terrible and hilarious

Cara getting down to the nitty gritty quick like

Oh, okay, so Jessie’s mum pushed him away so he never knew about her, that’s forgivable

Oh boy, and they’re going to sing the same song

Can’t even hear her over the guitar, probably because she can’t actually sing

To both

Things I would love: they both choose Jessie’s family

OOOOH What’s the drama

I love Grandad Bob

Gosh she’s a bitch

And she’s the reason they’re not in contact with their son

“The biggest mistake with that girl”, which girl? Jessie’s mum

A cute boy, hurrah!

“Good stock” like a horse?

Who are these people? Is that Cara’s dad? I wasn’t paying attention for the thirty seconds he was on screen

But who is the woman?

Oh no! This is how it’s all gonna be revealed!

His girlfriend I suppose, a secret-from-cara girlfriend

Cara sounds more southern than Jessie despite being more proper

New plan, Granddad Bob needs to break up with Elsa, marry Jessie’s Grandma and both Jessie and Cara will be step-cousins

OH I wonder if she’s the “mistake girl”

And so Jessie *could* have been his granddaughter if he’d married Jessie’s actual grandmother

I love Bob so much

Oh heck, that cake looks so good

Well, I wonder what’s gonna happen now…

Oh, OK, he’s gonna wait a bit

I bet he’s gonna be like “wait, that’s not my daughter” when Jessie gets announced as Cara at the pageant

Judy Wilkins is Jessie’s grandma, and so probably is “mistake girl”

I love Judy too

OH no, don’t muddy your dress girl

Cara, you’re the best

Oh no, she’s gonna ruin the dress

Uggggggh at Elsa, big time ugh

At least hike it up Cara omfg

Oh jeez

I mean, not that Judy’s gonna be mad, but she might be sad

Oh no, it’s totally ruined 🙁

Haha, they’re gonna get Jessie’s old dress from the thrift shop

Fess up Cara, tell them you got a credit card

Or that, good second option

Good on ya Jessie

I love it Cara, family buskin’ yes!

Judy’s savage, I love it

OH man, is Elsa gonna sabotage

She’s not, but she’s bribe/blackmail *oof*

Cara and Judy, it’s gonna break her heart

Oh shit, did she steal the phone!?

Wait, the pageant is today!?

This is gonna go tits up :/

CALLED IT

That is the worst smile in the world 😀

What’s gonna happen in the next 40 minutes

OK, not a secret girlfriend??

A fiancée, OK, Kara probably does know – I only just noticed that it was spelled with a K

Good for Bob!

I was right, he married down in status!

These close ups make it look like they’re not talking to each other

Oh deeeeear

OH BOY

Stands to reason the Wilkins family is chill

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

OH I LOVE IT

Wilkins family rolling up in their pickup to the Gentries

Hahahahaha

I feel bad for not knowing the maid’s name but she’s a legend

Has she told Elsa yet? ‘Cos Bob doesn’t seem to be minding but Elsa isn’t there

June! She’s a love

Check Bob out, spending his money the right way

Seriously, where is Elsa though?

HAHAHAHA that’s brilliant

I reckon Bob *is* gonna leave Elsa for Judy

Uh oh, she’s a coming

“Sick joke” I mean, I guess

HECK YES KARA

Secret fiancé lol

Come on Jessie, don’t ruin things

Oh bless him

You can’t hold it against him for not knowing you existed

Feisty gal, love her

WHAT!?

So they’re actual cousins!?!

I LOVE THIS, kick her out

Yes June, I’m with ya

Oof, that look Kara

Fuck me that’s a lot of presents

OH YEAH, ROY’S WIFE IS HOME THIS IS THE BEST

Why is she talkking to him like he’s a simpleton?

Awwwwwwwwwwww

Not sure what that thing about giving a present to June was – not that she doesn’t deserve something but like… is it that he got his conscience back after seeing Judy??

Oh man, they’re all singing, this is so lame and so perfect

I want a Southern Christmas

Oh no, the song went bad, what was that little a cappella rap bit!?

So this isn’t a romance so the normal scheme doesn’t apply but this was a damn fun movie!

Love,

Salixa.

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