Movie Review: A Christmas Hero – 14 Points

Firefighter Jenny falls in love with Tom and is looking forward to spending Christmas with him. But her plans take a turn when his ex-wife, and bestselling author, Mary is thinking of taking their daughter away for Christmas. With her natural grace and heart-mending skills, Jenny will manage to soften everyone’s hearts and make this Christmas unforgettable.

So, just a little prefix to this: I didn’t watch this movie entirely alone. I started it and it made me SO ANGRY that in order to finish it I had to get my friends on board. I’ve included here the start of my notes on the movie and then I’ll finish off with what we all thought of it.

I’ve seen so many Reel One movies and that intro is so horror inducing
The houses are so sparkly :O
The just doesn’t happen in the UK
She seems not very nice, her dad is a bad fibber
Oh, maybe she’s not so bad – she seemed genuinely sad her dad hadn’t read it
Lol, that makes sense – why would you take marriage advice from a divorcee?!
Also, why would your dad read a marriage advice book – unless he’s also having trouble I guess
OK, I’m back to hating her
Dead mother, that’s expected
She’s a bitch
Is he…watching his own advert!?
This family is terrible
I hope it snows on Christmas and he has to give away a lot of cars
Oh shit, the stakes are high
I already love the heroine
Just get him out
OH NO
Is Parker gonna die!?
OH MY GOD
OH MY FUCKING GOD
SAVE YOURSELF being said in a CHRISTMAS MOVIE!?
Fucking hell TOM
Do Not stop her doing her job
I’m so fucking tense oh my god
So Tom’s a dick, his ex is a dick, his ex’s dad is a dick
Come on Jenny, you better be worth it
FUCK YES PARKER
I want Jenny to patch Tom and Mary up and live her life without any dickheads in it
Surely you should get sick pay – fuck me America is broken
Sadie’s a peach though
Oh my god, oh my GOD
OH MY GOD
YEAH SADIE
I’m so angry at so many people
Oh my god Mary I hate you so much
Tom how did you marry this cow!?
She was hot wasn’t she Tom
Maybe Tom isn’t a dick, I was just mad he was distracting her
Oh, so Tom was a hockey player, Mary was a figure skater
But *Tom* mustn’t put his desires on his daughter
I hate Mary oh my god
Gift cards are brilliant, rude
Hahaha BACKFIRED
Oh Parker, you derpy person
This building is…not on fire?
What?
*cackling* at that question

At this point in the movie we have cut to Mary who is doing an interview, not answering the actual questions asked but reeling off some notes her dad has pre-written for her and trying to make them fit.

This movie got 1/10 from each of the movie watchers. It was trash, everyone was obnoxious, no one could compromise, Sadie was the only decent person and she’s 9. One friend said “Everyone in this movie needs therapy” and the other said “Somehow everyone in this movie is the least likeable character” (I’m assuming she didn’t mean Sadie, who’s adorable).

Jenny, who is supposed to be the ‘hero’ can’t even let Tom be in a couple of Christmas photos with his ex-wife in order to make sure she lets him have half-custody of their daughter. This isn’t “pretend for a whole week” it’s “pretend for one photo, one interview, and be around for my book signing”. The person with the most character growth is MARY who started the movie as a total bitch. I try not to say whether you should or should not watch a movie but… don’t watch this movie. It sucked.

Love,

Salixa